Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Anak Perantau

Assalamualaikum a dobry den


Being in HTAR, Klang made me encounter a lot, I mean A LOT of foreigners.

Bangladeshi, Indonesians, Nepalese, Myanmar, Vietnamese, Sri Lankan, Philippines,...you name it.


And almost half of our wards were occupied by them.

I don't know, maybe Klang is where the factories are, the ports and whatsoever.

Then comes the language barrier. You know when you are so busy, got so many other patients to attend to, your boss getting impatient, etc...etc... then you can't even get a simple story out from them as they can't even understand what you are saying.
And you spend 15 minutes just to know what hit him.

Ok, cut the story short.

Major problems when they came to us is money.

Now as the bills charged to them is in full price as we couldn't afford to pay for them, it is always a heartbreaking scene.

Especially if they need an operation.

But how to proceed as who's gonna pay?

No such thing as derma kilat or funds or whatever as they are so many of them coming, on every day basis too.
We are not flowing in cash you know.

Then the saddest thing if they have to go back home without proper treatment.

Seriously.

As there is seriously nothing can be done.


Imagine lah..you are travelling miles away from home,
away from family, children
living a very basic life
Just for some bucks to send to the loved ones at home.

Then some disasters fall upon you.

They didn't ask  for their hand to be accidentally cut by the machine
They didn't ask to be slashed by parang by some bugger.
They didn't ask to be hit by a lorry while riding a bicycle to work

Malang tak berbau, jatuh ditimpa tangga.

I don't know.
I don't have the power
I don't have the authority

and I believe all the staffs also can't do anything.


and I do feel them (eventhough I, myself also feel frustrated towards their nonsense... -_-'' )

as I was a foreigner before.
as I do know how it feels when you are in strange land
as I do understands how it is like to be alone
as I do feel how hurt it is when sometimes you are being treated as a foreigner.

Entahlah labu.....

Moga Allah mudahkan urusan untuk semuanya.


Kan best kalau dunia ada khalifah... :)

Those who made me feel like their own family back there ^_^

Thursday, 2 June 2016

Anak syurga

Termination of pregnancy (TOP)

atau bahasa melayunya, menamatkan kandungan.

atau dalam bahasa mudahnya, bayi terpaksa dilahirkan kerana tiada harapan untuk hidup.

Apalah perasaan ibu yang melahirkan anak yang tiada harapan seperti ini?
Dikandung sampai 7 ke 8 bulan. Malah ada yang sampai 9 bulan.
Tiba-tiba scan kata bayi tak boleh hidup.

Lagi sedih bila bayi dah disahkan mati dalam perut.

Pertama kali semasa aku di O&G,
pernah sekali aku deliver bayi IUD (intrauterine death).
 Sudah cukup bulan
Kembar pula tu. Dua-dua tak survive.

Lembut saja aku menyuruh ibu teran
Tak seperti kalau ibu-ibu lain, naik semua suara.
Bayi pertama lahir.
Kaku, biru.

Allah..hampir menitis air mata..
Aku tahan juga, supaya ibu yang masih tenang tidak emosi.
Aku beritahu ibu jantina anaknya.
Teragak-agak aku bertanya,

"Ibu nak tengok anak sekarang, atau nak tunggu adiknya keluar?"

"Tunggu dua-dua keluarlah doktor", lembut jawab si ibu.

Aku mengangguk.

Tak lama kemudian, kepala bayi yang kedua pun keluar.
Kecil sedikit berbanding abangnya tadi.
Kaku juga.

Aku beritahu ibu.
Sang ibu masih tenang.
Kami diam.
Menunggu giliran uri keluar.

Lantas aku tanya si ibu,

"Ibu nak tengok sekarang?"

Sang ibu mengangguk lemah.

Lantas aku pun dukung si abang dan staff nurse dukung si adik.
Ditunjukkan kedua-duanya kepada ibunya.

Menangis si ibu,
dicium si abang,
dikucup si adik.

Macam nak tumpah air mata aku.
Aku tahan juga

"Abang dengan adik tunggu ibu kat syurga ye?"


Kemudian aku uruskan uri cepat-cepat.
Mujur tiada koyak.
Cepat-cepat aku bersihkan dan keluar.
Sempat juga ibu tu berkata kepada aku sebelum aku meninggalkannya,

"Terima kasih doktor".


Kisah IUD pertama aku.


Sekarang di paeds, dalam 2 minggu ni saja dah 3 kes TOP.
Bayi keluar dengan nadi yang sangat perlahan
Menunggu mati.

Ibu-ibu anak syurga,
Moga Allah balas kesabaran kalian dengan pahala berganda-ganda.

Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Senyum dan ikhlas



Akhir-akhir ni, selalu saja kisah-kisah para doktor, dan staf-staf hospital menjadi isu.

Isu anti vaksin
Isu doktor kena maki
Isu misi diperlekehkan
Isu hospital lembap
Isu itu, isu ini

Sedih dan terasa juga kerana saya adalah seorang doktor. Apatah lagi sebagai doktor pelatih.
Sudahlah di hospital kastanya paling rendah
Tiba-tiba dimaki dan dihina dengan kata-kata yang tak manis.

Saya bukannya nak menegakkan hak-hak sebagai kakitangan sektor kesihatan awam.
Cuma sedih dan terkilan,

Di mana adab dan sopan santun?

Bukannya kami minta dipandang mulia.
Gelaran doktor bukannya satu darjat.
Realiti tanggungjawab, jerih payah di sebalik stetoskop dan kot putih itu Allah dan kami saja yang merasainya.

Doktor ni,
Hidupnya lebih di hospital dari rumahnya.
Masalah pesakitnya dia lebih tahu dari masalah jirannya.
Khabar mak ayah orang yang dia tak kenal lebih dia tahu dari khabar mak ayahnya.
Sakit anak orang lain lebih dia rawat dari sakit anaknya.

Sedih? Kecewa?
Tuhan saja yang tahu. Apatah lagi kalau yang sudah ada anak.

Ralat di hati saya kerana tak sempat berjumpa arwah wan saya sendiri sebelum dia pergi, masih belum hilang hanya kerana saya terpaksa kembali bertugas merawat bayi orang lain.

Ada beberapa kali saya lihat MO saya terpaksa meninggalkan anak yang terpaksa masuk ke wad kerana dia terpaksa oncall di tingkat atas.
Ada beberapa kali saya dengar anak rakan-rakan HO saya yang merajuk tak mahu dengan maknya kerana lama tak berjumpa.

Jadi,
Kami tak minta dipuji,
Kami tak minta dihargai
Nak marah, nak bengang, nak tak puas hati sana sini

Silakan
Itu hak masing-masing

Cuma layanlah kami seperti manusia

Kami memberi khidmat
Kami bukan hamba.
Kami manusia

Mungkin inilah ujian untuk kami merasa ikhlas yang sebenar
Susah, memang susah.

Ikhlas tu,
Macam semut hitam yang berjalan atas batu hitam pada malam yang gelap.

Senyum.
Islam kan ajar kita berbuat baik sesama manusia :)

"Jadilah seperti pohon mangga, dilempar batu, mangga yang jatuh" - The Way to Win
Gambar: google



Doakan saya, kami dan kita semua ^_^

*Ramadhan dah dekat....Allahumma balighna Ramadhan... Moga Ramadhan kali ini membawa lebih makna dan lebih mendekatkan kita kepadaNya...aminnnn*

Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Himmah

Assalamualaikum a dobry den!

I've always been reading my own posts lately. Trying to find my himmah back.

Recently, I've felt how much sicker this world can be.
Just finished O&G for more than 2 weeks now, and I already met countless number of single, unmarried mother. Somehow it has become ALMOST a common thing nowadays in our hospital.

Which is scary.

And now I am in Paeds, how could one not cry when a baby was left alone as the mother doesn't want to take care of that poor little thing?

and I wonder, keep on wondering what can I do. But being a busy houseman what more can I do as I got tons of patients to be reviewed and attended to.

Then, I realized. Its me. What have I done? Why am I not strong enough to do something? At least even some words of encouragement or advice?

Had I do dakwah enough? Had I improve myself enough?

I, myself also has been far from Him. T_T

I hate that I had to use my hectic life as an excuse.
Fathin, there are more people who are far more busy than you but nevertheless their iman is much more stronger than anybody else.

Busy is never an excuse.

life = dakwah
work = ibadah
goal = to please Allah.

Pray for me, pray for ummah.
May Allah ease...ameen.... :)

Random ok batu ni terjumpa tengah-tengah Rose Garden dekat Cameron hari tu.
Dakwah jugak tu ^_^

Sunday, 5 July 2015

I am a doctor

Assalamualaikum a dobry den!

Lama tak menulis. Habis berhabuk dah blog ni.... *fuuuhhhhhhhhhhh*

I did have an intention to write about my new life when I started working as a doctor. But then, got too busy, too tired mentally and physically, too excited to sleep during all my free time. Hence, the delay. :P

So, now I'm currently just started my second posting in Surgery. Yes, I'm in 2nd posting already which means I've already worked for 4 months.

But malas nak cerita pasal surgery lagi sebab still too early. Baru 4 hari tagging weh...

The only happiness in medical life -quoted by someone-
*trying to break that quotation...we should try to be happy, try to enjoy our work as much as possible! :)*


My first posting, MEDICAL
Yes, Medical in Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah, Klang. One of the busiest hospital in the Klang Valley and some said in Malaysia (Dunno if that's true or not). This is not a fancy shmancy hospital. No airconds in normal wards. Sometimes the PC broke down so had to run to other floors borrowing some other wards' PC. Not to mention the lift was "on maintenance" sometimes so need to wait and wait for an empty lift.

We had to went upstairs, downstairs to trace results, sending bloods (because PPK is not there to send your blood for the whole day, they had some patients to send to Xrays, HDU, etc...etc..), requesting for ultrasounds, CTs, and stuffs. So, apparently I've lost 7kg in my 1st 2 months in this department, which is one of the thing that I'm so ecstatic about. LOL

But, I learnt a lot. Yes, a lot. Not just medical stuffs but apparently about life too.

Here in Klang, I've seen many types of patients, doctors, nurses and relatives too.
From riches to rags.
From snobbish to modest
From selfish to dedicated
and so on, and so on....

But one thing for sure,
Everyday, everyday....I learn to set my niat straight.
To ask Him for me to have sincerity in doing my jobs
To ask Him to never ask for rewards except His blessings
To ask Him to ease my day and never make it harder for me.

and maybe la...because Medical was my first posting so it feels much more meaningful and nostalgic. Still my remember my early days, starting as so stupid and slow that had to extend my tagging period. But till the end of the day, I've improved and proved myself that I can be better.

Now,
Please do pray for me in surgery as I used to have a big struggle trying to learn this field by heart in my med school. Hopefully different environment may give a new different perspectives for me on surgery. May Allah ease...aminnnn

working = ibadah.

not just dapat gaji buta.
:)


Salam Ramadhan. May our goods and deeds during this month is accepted and blessed by The Almighty. :)

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Vítáme Vás 2015

Assalamualaikum a dobrý den!

It's already been a week of new year.

Pejam celik, pejam celik dah masuk tahun baru. Rasa macam baru semalam 2014. Tapi tiba-tiba surat khabar, TV, internet semua dah keluar 2015. Dengar je bunyi fireworks yang entah siapa main malam tahun baru hari tu, tapi tak excited pun. Kalau kat Czech mesti dah bercahaya warna warni tingkap balkoni Raudhah tercinta dengan percikan bunga api dari Old Town.

2014.
Too many things, too many memories, too many ups and downs, too many...
I laughed, I fought, I cried, I smiled.

I miss waking up in the morning to this.

4 of 5 state exams were done in this year.
I've been to many places in Czech (finally!)
I finally understand how to distinguish systolic and diastolic murmur (duh..)
I went to the beautiful Palacky Uni for the first time.
I've watched a normal birth labour finally.
I've seen an off-pump bypass surgery.
I've graduated (Alhamdulillah).
I'm back in Malaysia for good.
I've met many new people.
I'm learning many new things that I've missed.
I'm driving as far as I could.
I finally starting my baking business.
I have new usrah in a new environment.
I'm hanging out with working friends.
I swam in the beach after so many years.
I've started to pay for my car.
I've attended many weddings.
I'm jobless.

I'm adapting..and still adapting.

Honestly, I am struggling. Struggling to be me, struggling to be a better me.
This is the reality. This is what I have to face.
and more will come (bila panggilan kerja datang).

Today I've read my first post of the blog.
Serius. Rasa nak nangis guling-guling.

I miss that 'feeling'.
Perasaan bila mana first time dalam hidup rasa baru nak kenal Allah.

Forgive me Ya Allah.
Pray for me and everyone of us to be istiqamah and steadfast in His path till the day we die.

Semoga akan datang perasaan tu kekal walaupun ujian lain datang bertubi-tubi.
Semoga tidak pernah lupa kepadaNya.

Don't forget to pray for our brothers and sisters who have been put in a great test. May Allah reward their patience and grant them Jannah.

Siapa nak derma untuk mangsa banjir, boleh juga derma menerusi i-Bantu. 

#prayforpantaitimur
#prayforgazamesirsyria



Wassalam a Na Shle

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Pokok anggur apa kalau tanam tak keluar anggur?


Sekarang sudah 3 bulan saya hidup menanam anggur (baca: menganggur) menanti panggilan kerja. Ikutkan hati gembira je bila tak dipanggil lagi, maklumlah orang kata cuti puas-puas sebelum kerja tak macam manusia. 

Tapi menganggur lama-lama ni banyaklah keburukannya juga. Duit tak ada, tak akan nak mengendeng duit mak bapak je. Padahal dah habis sekolah. Lepas tu, tak pandai nak manfaatkan masa. Lama-lama jarum penimbang pun makin menyenget ke kanan je.

Malaysians graduates of 2014 UK-Lekarska Fakulta v Hradci Kralove 


Jadi, saya pun mengambil keputusan untuk berniaga. Ya, berniaga. Inilah masanya untuk saya merealisasikan cita-cita saya untuk menjual kek. Hasrat dah lama ada, cuma tak dapat nak buat masa di czech dulu. Siapa pula nak beli kek kan? Orang tak ramai maka, customer pun tak ramai. Nak jual kat kawan-kawan pun rasa macam tak best je. Baik jamu makan, lagi syok. :)

Bila balik Malaysia ni, Alhamdulillah barulah dapat buat. 

So, sekarang ni menjual kek la saya. Eh, ni bukan nak promote kek pulak. Capability masih limited so target customer pun masih limited je..

Nak ceritanya, bila dah berniaga kek ni, ada banyak benda dapat belajar.  

1. Stamina

Letih wooo...Lagi-lagi bila nak mengacau batter cream puff tu. Bukan tak boleh pakai mixer, tapi tak muat. Peluh-peluh kat dapur jangan cerita la. Rasa macam lari 5 kilometer. Tapi kurusnya tak jugak :P

2. Sabar

Ya, sabar. Sabar itu separuh daripada iman. Bersabar bila order sikit. Bersabar bila tak ada order. Bersabar bila banyak order. Kadang-kadang mulut tu ringan je nak merungut tak tentu hala. Tapi silalah reti bersyukur. Semua tu rezeki.

Orang yang sabar itu orang yang banyak bersyukur :)

3. Rajin

Kadang-kadang saya ni kalau membaking, ikut mood juga. Kalau mood rajin, cantiklah hasilnya. Kalau malas macam ular sawa, hah..rupa pun tak ada!

So, bila nak menjual ni, kenalah rajin sentiasa. Perfectionist sikit. Tak boleh main lebih kurang. Sebab apa yang nak dijual tu semua amanah. Kena jujur. :)

4. Sedikit Perfectionist

Rujuk no 3.
Only applicable untuk orang-orang yang type B seperti saya

Intake untuk Disember dah keluar. Tapi saya dan rakan-rakan seperjuangan tak termasuk dalam list tu. Maka, harapan untuk bergelar wanita berkerjaya hanya muncul pada tahun 2015.

Doakan tak futur, tak malas, berkembang akal dan hati tapi bukan jasmani

Ok bye, nak pergi usrah!

Salam a Na Shle!

v B.B.B