Of love and loss

Salam and dobry den

Oh Allah,
Today seems a very loooonnnggg day for me
As so many things happened
So many feelings came
So many..so many

I've lost one of my loved one today
One of the closest person to my family
I was shocked
As I didn't know she was being hospitalized again
And just suddenly
My mobile beeped
A message came in
And just a simple, short sentence
which broke my heart in an instance

"Fathin, Maklang Zarah dah meninggal" -Mama-

I was startled and yet I was in the middle of my usrah
I've tried to finish my tadabbur
But my mind went blank suddenly
I just want to talk to Mama
But I couldn't speak much as she was in Singapore
And her mobile was in the roaming mode
How I wish to be with her
On the way back to Bangi and later going to Manjung
And later to be with Kak Runiz
How I wish
How I wish..

You see,
My late Maklang Zarah's family is one of my beloved families
Kak Runiz had been living with us for a very loooongg time
And her loss
Feels like ours too
I don't know
It just seems so different to me
And I wonder how it'll be to my sis especially

Allah,
I know that this is just another Sunnatullah
which every living person will finally leave this world
and this is the reminder for us always
the one who still alive
and we never know when our time will be

But Allah, please give me strength
give her family lots of strength
give us all the strength
to overcome this sadness

and You comfort my broken heart today
with the loves of my sisters here
from morning till night
and I still feel blessed
Eventhough I have sinned a lot
but You,
never leaves me.
Never, not even once
It was me, and always me
who tend to forget U

Forgive me Allah
and Thank You Allah

"Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?"

(Surah Ar-Rahman 55:77)

Mak Lang, you shall be missed. May Allah placed you among the righteous and gives us all, especially Paklang, Kak Runiz and Abang Boy the strength to endure this. amin..